Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

For things you would put in a kitty dump.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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A man walks into a bar...

That lucky bastard.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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"On the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days."

Ray Wylie Hubbard in his song "Mother Blues"
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Dang, our plan to take over supermarkets has been leaked !!!
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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KaMei wrote: Fri Apr 23, 2021 1:51 am 602bea8d9ed0f_xfrkoz9regg61__700.jpg
Why do we need to worry about spelling? As long as the numbers are in the right order! ;;
Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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VicFrauenfeld wrote: Fri Apr 23, 2021 8:18 am Why do we need to worry about spelling? As long as the numbers are in the right order! ;;
Whaaaa........ I never even noticed it!! <()>
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Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
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What a view of the coastline!
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Now that's an airline that knows how to cater to their passengers… why obstruct a picturesque view with engine shrouding. ;;
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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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This would be funny if it weren't real!
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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Hey @DennisD,
I found a coupon for you:
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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mattpeneguy wrote: Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:21 pm Hey @DennisD,
I found a coupon for you:
Slick 50.png
Now THAT is funny!
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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KaMei wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:24 am JasonPeopleKiller.jpg
That reminds me of the bubble gum cards I'd see in the checkout aisle when I was like 6 or 7 years old for Alien.
One of my coworkers claims to be a horror movie buff, and hadn't seen Alien...How can anyone be a horror fan and have never seen Alien? To me it's up there with the Exorcist as one of the top five...Of course that may have to do with the timeline and when I was growing up?

Both Alien and Texas Chainsaw Massacre definitely weren't meant for kids, but they didn't exactly only market them to adults.

I'm torn about this being funny, or cruel (I guess it's both)...This kid definitely won't forget this incident:
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Something to always keep in mind:
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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I don't know why I'm posting this in the Jokes thread...It's not funny, but sad...
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@mattpeneguy

The worst thing about the whole debacle (how it looks from the outside), is there is no concern for the limit of time...  There was no time management, no time goals (except for the April 2nd cutoff date), there are no timely updates from SW - Just a whole lot of garbage, yeah I'm sore, yeah it doesn't help that we moved to Fusion 3 6 0     
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Life is what happens while you make other plans.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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My daughter put this up where she works.
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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
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mattpeneguy wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 3:44 pmimage.png
;;
You speaking from experience?
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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DennisD wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 10:03 am My daughter put this up where she works.

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I think we need to post that on the main page here, although I fear that we would fare no better. Too many here willing to bleed purple.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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DennisD wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 10:03 am My daughter put this up where she works.

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I had a similar one on my office door for a while. Notice the asterisk, and the fine print at bottom. It says "Previous record excluding weekends and holidays is 0."

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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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@DennisD It would seem that Cap'n Crunch has been giving himself promotions over the years. Quite the pirate I'd say.

Ensign Crunch
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Lieutenant Crunch
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Next thing you'll being telling me that Colonel Sanders isn't actually a Colonel :roll:
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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mattpeneguy wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 3:02 pm I don't know why I'm posting this in the Jokes thread...It's not funny, but sad...
WT!? :o
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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..this one still makes me :lol:
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"Democracies aren't overthrown; they're given away." -George Lucas
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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zxys001 wrote: Sat May 01, 2021 3:54 pm ..this one still makes me :lol:
I got it right away. It reminds me of when the former airplane hangar where I work was remodeled. The building is about 300' long, with a 120' wide clear span down the middle that's full of equipment, material, and various other objects with an aisle left open down the middle. The mechanical, construction, and electronics shops, restrooms, a lunch room, hallways to exterior doors, and a couple offices go down each side. When it was remodeled they had to put Braille signs beside each of those doors. I still haven't figured out how a blind person would ever even find one of those signs in order to be able to read it.
"On the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days."

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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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zxys001 wrote: Sat May 01, 2021 3:54 pm ..this one still makes me :lol:
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Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
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Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

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_
Next thing you'll being telling me that Colonel Sanders isn't actually a Colonel :roll:
[/quote]

He's not a kernal, just a grain of dirt by now ;)
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