Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

For things you would put in a kitty dump.
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

60508014bfd72_8t8dkukugtp51__700.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

LeftOrRight.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
SamSpade
Posts: 115
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2021 3:34 pm
Answers: 2
Location: Montreal, QC
x 223
x 155

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by SamSpade »

A man walks into a bar...

That lucky bastard.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky
User avatar
Roasted By John
Posts: 366
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2021 3:21 pm
Answers: 1
Location: Lebanon PA USA
x 268
x 583
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Roasted By John »

image.png
image.png (69.53 KiB) Viewed 17179 times
www.martinsroastapig.com
Pig Roast Your Way
User avatar
Glenn Schroeder
Posts: 1522
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2021 11:43 am
Answers: 23
Location: southeast Texas
x 1759
x 2132

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Glenn Schroeder »

image.png
"On the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days."

Ray Wylie Hubbard in his song "Mother Blues"
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

1-607fc859c86e7__700.jpg
Dang, our plan to take over supermarkets has been leaked !!!
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

602bea8d9ed0f_xfrkoz9regg61__700.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
VicFrauenfeld
Posts: 86
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 9:27 am
Answers: 0
Location: Cleveland, Wisconsin USA
x 82
x 80

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by VicFrauenfeld »

KaMei wrote: Fri Apr 23, 2021 1:51 am 602bea8d9ed0f_xfrkoz9regg61__700.jpg
Why do we need to worry about spelling? As long as the numbers are in the right order! ;;
Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
User avatar
mike miller
Posts: 878
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 3:38 pm
Answers: 7
Location: Michigan
x 1070
x 1231
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mike miller »

VicFrauenfeld wrote: Fri Apr 23, 2021 8:18 am Why do we need to worry about spelling? As long as the numbers are in the right order! ;;
Whaaaa........ I never even noticed it!! <()>
He that finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for [Christ's] sake will find it. Matt. 10:39
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

IndustrialAction.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

What a view of the coastline!
image.png
User avatar
SamSpade
Posts: 115
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2021 3:34 pm
Answers: 2
Location: Montreal, QC
x 223
x 155

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by SamSpade »

Now that's an airline that knows how to cater to their passengers… why obstruct a picturesque view with engine shrouding. ;;
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
image.png (144.76 KiB) Viewed 17038 times
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

This would be funny if it weren't real!
image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

Hey @DennisD,
I found a coupon for you:
Slick 50.png
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

JasonPeopleKiller.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

mattpeneguy wrote: Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:21 pm Hey @DennisD,
I found a coupon for you:
Slick 50.png
Now THAT is funny!
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

KaMei wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:24 am JasonPeopleKiller.jpg
That reminds me of the bubble gum cards I'd see in the checkout aisle when I was like 6 or 7 years old for Alien.
One of my coworkers claims to be a horror movie buff, and hadn't seen Alien...How can anyone be a horror fan and have never seen Alien? To me it's up there with the Exorcist as one of the top five...Of course that may have to do with the timeline and when I was growing up?

Both Alien and Texas Chainsaw Massacre definitely weren't meant for kids, but they didn't exactly only market them to adults.

I'm torn about this being funny, or cruel (I guess it's both)...This kid definitely won't forget this incident:
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

Something to always keep in mind:
image.png
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

I don't know why I'm posting this in the Jokes thread...It's not funny, but sad...
User avatar
Roasted By John
Posts: 366
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2021 3:21 pm
Answers: 1
Location: Lebanon PA USA
x 268
x 583
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Roasted By John »

@mattpeneguy

The worst thing about the whole debacle (how it looks from the outside), is there is no concern for the limit of time...  There was no time management, no time goals (except for the April 2nd cutoff date), there are no timely updates from SW - Just a whole lot of garbage, yeah I'm sore, yeah it doesn't help that we moved to Fusion 3 6 0     
www.martinsroastapig.com
Pig Roast Your Way
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

602bea4fd0916_5ve471dcqeg61__700.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

My daughter put this up where she works.
image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
Jaylin Hochstetler
Posts: 387
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 8:47 pm
Answers: 4
Location: Michigan
x 380
x 355
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Jaylin Hochstetler »

mattpeneguy wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 3:44 pmimage.png
;;
You speaking from experience?
A goal is only a wish until backed by a plan.
User avatar
jcapriotti
Posts: 1869
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 6:39 pm
Answers: 30
Location: The south
x 1214
x 1999

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by jcapriotti »

DennisD wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 10:03 am My daughter put this up where she works.

image.png
I think we need to post that on the main page here, although I fear that we would fare no better. Too many here willing to bleed purple.
Jason
User avatar
KaMei
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:55 am
Answers: 0
Location: Berlin, Germany
x 818
x 908

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by KaMei »

6001a6270dd85_196whskjpm561__700.jpg
Life is what happens while you make other plans.
User avatar
Glenn Schroeder
Posts: 1522
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2021 11:43 am
Answers: 23
Location: southeast Texas
x 1759
x 2132

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Glenn Schroeder »

DennisD wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 10:03 am My daughter put this up where she works.

image.png
I had a similar one on my office door for a while. Notice the asterisk, and the fine print at bottom. It says "Previous record excluding weekends and holidays is 0."

image.png
"On the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days."

Ray Wylie Hubbard in his song "Mother Blues"
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
mattpeneguy
Posts: 1386
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2021 11:14 am
Answers: 4
x 2489
x 1899

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by mattpeneguy »

image.png
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
jcapriotti
Posts: 1869
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 6:39 pm
Answers: 30
Location: The south
x 1214
x 1999

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by jcapriotti »

@DennisD It would seem that Cap'n Crunch has been giving himself promotions over the years. Quite the pirate I'd say.

Ensign Crunch
image.png
image.png (26.95 KiB) Viewed 16720 times
_
Lieutenant Crunch
image.png
image.png (135.62 KiB) Viewed 16720 times
_
_
Next thing you'll being telling me that Colonel Sanders isn't actually a Colonel :roll:
Jason
User avatar
zxys001
Posts: 1077
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 10:08 am
Answers: 5
Location: Scotts Valley, Ca.
x 2305
x 998
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by zxys001 »

mattpeneguy wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 3:02 pm I don't know why I'm posting this in the Jokes thread...It's not funny, but sad...
WT!? :o
"Democracies aren't overthrown; they're given away." -George Lucas
“We only protect what we love, we only love what we understand, and we only understand what we are taught.” - Jacques Cousteau
User avatar
zxys001
Posts: 1077
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 10:08 am
Answers: 5
Location: Scotts Valley, Ca.
x 2305
x 998
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by zxys001 »

..this one still makes me :lol:
Attachments
d71a.jpeg
"Democracies aren't overthrown; they're given away." -George Lucas
“We only protect what we love, we only love what we understand, and we only understand what we are taught.” - Jacques Cousteau
User avatar
Glenn Schroeder
Posts: 1522
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2021 11:43 am
Answers: 23
Location: southeast Texas
x 1759
x 2132

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Glenn Schroeder »

zxys001 wrote: Sat May 01, 2021 3:54 pm ..this one still makes me :lol:
I got it right away. It reminds me of when the former airplane hangar where I work was remodeled. The building is about 300' long, with a 120' wide clear span down the middle that's full of equipment, material, and various other objects with an aisle left open down the middle. The mechanical, construction, and electronics shops, restrooms, a lunch room, hallways to exterior doors, and a couple offices go down each side. When it was remodeled they had to put Braille signs beside each of those doors. I still haven't figured out how a blind person would ever even find one of those signs in order to be able to read it.
"On the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days."

Ray Wylie Hubbard in his song "Mother Blues"
User avatar
DennisD
Posts: 707
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:04 am
Answers: 1
Location: Near Jacksonville, FL
x 1031
x 1468

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by DennisD »

zxys001 wrote: Sat May 01, 2021 3:54 pm ..this one still makes me :lol:
image.png
Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- - -Randy Pausch
User avatar
Roasted By John
Posts: 366
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2021 3:21 pm
Answers: 1
Location: Lebanon PA USA
x 268
x 583
Contact:

Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Unread post by Roasted By John »

_
Next thing you'll being telling me that Colonel Sanders isn't actually a Colonel :roll:
[/quote]

He's not a kernal, just a grain of dirt by now ;)
www.martinsroastapig.com
Pig Roast Your Way
Post Reply